It’s hard enough for you and your spouse to go through a divorce, but when you throw children into the mix the situation becomes even harder. Often times we get caught up in our own sadness and forget to remember that your children no matter what age they may be is going through a difficult time as well. It’s not that you are neglecting to think of them, but rather you think they are unaware because you haven’t exactly broken the news to them officially.

Children are more aware of things than we ever give them credit for and I am almost one hundred percent positive that they are already aware of the situation, although the thoughts that are going through their mind are probably much worse then the truth. This is why it’s important that you sit your children down and discuss the situation with them, and if possible it would be best if you and your spouse did this together. This will help them to understand that you are both their for them no matter what.

Let them ask you questions, and answer them as honestly as you possibly can without bashing your spouse. I understand that you are angry and it just may not be your fault, but your children do not need to know this. They need to know that you are both going to be there for them even though you are all not under the same roof.

Even your eighteen year old son or daughter will be equally stressed and filled with the same pain that you are having because of the divorce. It’s important that you are discuss your feelings together, and there is absolutely no shame in getting some outside help to make this entire ordeal a bit easier. There are so many families now a days seeking professional help to guide them through the entire process, and it will actually help your children ask the questions and express the feelings that they may be afraid to ask you.

It may be a good idea to take your children to a professional when you are informing them of the divorce. Setting the date and making the plan to tell them will help not to mention the news in a time of anger. This is not the best ways for them to discover the news, when you and your spouse are fighting. It sends them the wrong message and will make them feel as if they need to choose between you two. It doesn’t matter whether they were asked to choose or not, they will feel as if they need to protect one of you.

Telling each of your children individually is also another method that is positive it gives your child the opportunity to express their feelings without their siblings. Often children feel they need to be tough or strong for their brothers or sisters. This is especially true with older siblings.

No matter what it’s important that you sit your children down and let them know about the divorce before their imaginations get the best of them. Children can dream up some pretty amazing tales and versions of situations, so it’s best that you explain everything to them before this happens. Make sure you are ready to answer the questions that they will be throwing your way, such as living arrangements, is it their fault, how can they make it better, and many other’s that you probably can’t even imagine they would ask. When you have the answers to most of their questions it will give them a sense of security and it will definitely reassure them that it will eventually be okay.