Are you an adult that went through a divorce during your child hood? Were you one of the millions of children that had their family torn apart and separated from a divorce? Chances are that you probably did go through a divorce when you were a child. And if you did go through a divorce when you were a child then you can totally understand how a divorce will and can affect a child.
A divorce can seriously affect a child and it does not matter how old that child is. If a person knows that their parents are going to get a divorce it does not matter how old they are it will still affect them although it may affect them in different ways. If a child is older and is actually of an adult age when their parents get a divorce, it will affect them in a more mental way. As an adult the child probably does not live at home and therefore they will have no anxiety of who they will live with or who they will have to choose and a slew of other issues that smaller children will have and an adult child will not have. As an adult the child will have their own home and typically their own family so the issues and the feelings they will have will tend to be more of confusion and not believing that after all those years that their parents were together they are going to get a divorce. An adult child may however feel the need or the pressure to choose a side, to pick mom’s side or to pick dad’s side. As children we do not think of our parents as having the same issues in their relationships that everyone else has but they in fact do. And at times those issues and problems may lead to a divorce.
When the child is much younger and in fact counts on their parents for everything it seems to be much more of an effect on the child. If a child is very young let us say toddler age then it may so some fussiness when it comes to some things and the toddler may seem to look for the other parent but in fact that very small child will probably not remember what it was like with both parents in the house and therefore the child will only really know what it is like to have two households. Some may even say that it is easier for a child this young to go through a divorce as opposed to a child that is older.
When a child that goes through a divorce in his or her family and they are of a school age or even a teenager it may be very hard for them to go through. Because of the divorce the child wil have a lot of anxiety that they must go through. They will have issues understanding why their parents are splitting and where they are going to live. There will typically be a lot of changes that go on in their life due to the divorce and they must find a way to handle it. Even though the parents will usually make sure to give their children their first priority they are still going through the divorce themselves and will in fact need to grieve for their dead marriage themselves so it may be hard to deal with their child or their children during the divorce.
It is extremely important though to let the child or the children know that they are loved and that they are in fact quite safe. A divorce will not leave a child without their parents and their security and no matter how old the child is they should be constantly reminded of these things.
|