2007-Aug-29 - Preparation For A Father Of The Bride Speech
What is the most important part of the father of the bride speech?
If you read the wedding planning and wedding speech guides, the focus is almost always on the bride's father proposing a toast to the newly married couple. There are many choices to guide the appropriate wording for the father of the bride to say a few wise and witty words as he draws attention to the happy couple as the focus of the wedding breakfast.
In fact the proposal of the toast is really rather a ritual, and almost any of the traditional and often used toasts will do. At that point most of the guests have already turned their attention to raising their glasses to the newly weds, and expect just a few brief but inspiring words from the speaker.
Some fathers may think the most important thing they have to say is the fatherly advice they offer in public to their daughter and her new husband. Often their daughter might think they would better spend their time telling a wedding joke to amuse the guests, for all the polite attention she is giving their "wise words".
No, I think the important part of the speech given by the father of the bride comes at his opening remarks. As the first speaker at the reception, the father of the bride, traditionally the host of the reception, has a vital opportunity to set the mood of the event. With two sets of families and friends coming together usually for the first time, there is a need to break the ice, and build some rapport and encourage the start of new friendships. Putting the guests at their ease, creating a sense of anticipation for the later speeches and stages of the reception, and building a happy mood of celebration can be the key to making the reception a successful and memorable event. It is really a leadership role, with the father of the bride playing the part of a good host who takes responsibility for how much his guests enjoy their visit.
If the father of the bride instead indulges in some side shots at his ex-wife, the groom, or the groom's family, the scene will be set for a tense and possibly unpleasant hour or two, and divert attention from the newly weds. The father of the bride has to remember the reception is not about him or his views - even if he has paid for it and expects a captive audience in return - it is about celebrating the marriage of the new couple among their families and friends.
No matter how well the father of the bride delivers the toast to the wedding couple, the reception will be off to a slow start if he has not successfully played the role of a good host in setting a celebratory mood and building some rapport between the guests.
Go to this link for a useful outline of the main steps to be covered in the father of the bride speech where there is also a link to more detailed sample speeches, wedding jokes and quotes and the wording of popular toasts. However, much of the success of the speech will be determined by how well the bride's father reads and creates the mood of the guests, without relying just on the written speech prepared in advance.
Here is another good outline for the wedding speeches father of the bride.
Often the role of host leads on to the father of the bride becoming the wedding master of ceremonies, and this link leads to an interesting discussion on whether the wedding MC for the reception.
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